A negative mind will never give you a Positive Life. Of all the top leaders, businessmen, entrepreneurs, and celebrities have charisma. When people talk to them, they feel like they’ve known them all their life. It’s as if there is a magnetic attraction pulling them in. That’s the power of charisma.
If you learn how to cultivate and master this skill, it will have a huge effect on every area of your life. You’ll be able to influence people to do what you want them to do. You’ll be able to get what you want out of life. You’ll be able to build a cult-like following of people. Whatever your goals are, having charisma can get you to your final destination much faster.
But what if you don’t consider yourself charismatic at all? Not to be worried. Even if you don’t think you are super charming or outgoing, you can still improve your charisma. Here are quick hacks on how to be more charismatic.
- One of the easiest ways to be more charismatic is to smile more. If this is something you struggle with, go and practice right now. Find a mirror and start smiling in front of it. Keep doing this until it looks genuine and not forced. Nothing is worse than receiving a fake smile from someone. It screams dishonesty and makes building rapport much harder. It’s going to make you feel better, and it’s going to make the person you’re talking to feel better.
- Have you ever given someone eye contact and feel like there’s energy flowing between you? You feel the pressure. That’s the power of strong eye contact. When you’re talking to somebody, lock eyes with them. Look them directly in the eye. Do not waver or look away. Doing this is one of the easiest ways to build rapport with people. For example, Bill Clinton, who is known as one of the most charismatic individuals on Earth, is known for his strong eye contact.
If you Google, “Bill Clinton charisma”, you’ll find hundreds of blog posts and articles talking all about it.
People who have interacted with him have raved about his charisma. They describe him as being hypnotizing to talk too. He makes you want to be around him more. Here’s the funny part – Republicans, who normally wouldn’t agree with his policies or viewpoints, have said that after talking to him they felt themselves wanting to support him.
- It’s important that you’re interested in people. You know what people care the most about? Themselves, you can use this to your advantage. If you show interest in them, they’re going to automatically like you.
Because you made them feel good about themselves. And you can show interest in people without having to kiss their butt either. Ask them genuine questions. Make statements about them. Show enthusiasm and excitement towards them. Doing this helps you have more engaged conversations with people.
- The last hack you can do to become more charismatic is to be self-amused. What is self-amusement? It’s when you say or do something for the sole reason that you find it amusing or entertaining. You’re not trying to get a reaction out of someone. You’re not looking for validation. You’re purely doing something because you felt like it.
No matter your situation in life and your individual aims, one of the most important tools for success is your personal charisma. Charisma is what allows you to command a room, draw others to you, and convince people of your ideas. It’s an essential part of being the kind of leader who wins devoted followers who are willing to go to the ends of the earth for you. Charismatic men are perceived as both likeable and powerful, a dynamic, irresistible combination that opens endless doors to them.
Charisma may seem like a mysterious quality, something that some men are born with and some are not. But this is happily not the case. You don’t need to have hit the genetic charisma lottery in order to develop yourself into a man with powerful magnetism.
Far from being a magical and inexplicable trait, charisma can be broken down into a set of concrete, largely nonverbal behaviors that can be learned, practiced, and made natural. Olivia Fox Cabane, author of The Charisma Myth, places these behaviors into three categories: Presence, Power, and Warmth. When deftly combined, these three components produce strong personal magnetism.
Sadly, it seems fewer and fewer people are fully present and engaged with the individuals they’re interacting with. Being completely engaged in a conversation has likely always been a challenge, as we all have a bit of the conversational narcissist in us.
Over the period, smart phones have saturated modern life; being fully present is even harder. People today try to unsuccessfully switch their attention between two worlds, the real world populated by the people they are physically present with and the cyber world which sends them dispatches through their phone. Go to any restaurant in America and you’re bound to see tables of people staring blankly at their smart phones and hardly engaging with each other.
The good news about all this is that it’s now incredibly easy to set yourself apart from the pack simply by being fully present with people and giving them your complete attention.
When you think of charisma, you might think of trying to make yourself seem super awesome to others. But the paradoxical secret of charisma is that it’s not about trumpeting your good qualities, but making the other person feels good about himself. Real charisma makes the other person feel important; when they finish an interaction with you, they feel better about themselves than they did before.
Focusing your mental and emotional energy on someone as you interact is how you create that feeling of importance. People fundamentally want attention, they want to be recognized and acknowledged.
Conveying presence is a simple concept, but oftentimes difficult to actually achieve. You can’t just fake it. People are surprisingly adept at deciphering your feigned interest. To truly convey presence, you must actually be present. It takes a significant amount of willpower to focus all your attention on the person you’re with at the moment. But like all things, with practice, it becomes significantly easier.
Bring yourself to the here and now. Presence begins in your mind. If you feel like your mind is off somewhere else while engaging with someone, try this little exercise to bring you back to the here and now. Focus on physical sensations in your body that you often ignore. It could be your breath or it could be the sensation of your feet touching the ground. You don’t have to spend very long meditating on these sensations. Just a second or two will bring you back into the moment you’re sharing with this person.
Make sure you’re physically comfortable. It’s hard to be fully present with someone when all you’re thinking about is how uncomfortably tight your pants are or how hot it is. To that end, do what you can to ensure you’re as comfortable as possible.
It’s important to remember, if you believe in what you’re saying and you can stay the course, you can make a difference. If you can find a way to remain alone with yourself, listen to your silences and try to find not what the crowd wants so you can be successful but try instead to find the true inner meaning of your life here on earth. And never give up on your heart in your struggle. Knowing this, you can use it to your advantage when it comes to self-amusement. When you say something you find hilarious, there’s a high chance they’re going to find it funny too. It’s all thanks to the “Law of State Transference.” Try it out.